How are you going to live?
How are you going to live?
I live in a place where I am the happiest.
But it hasn't always been this way, even here.
From the moment I stepped into the world each morning, the littlest of things irritated me. I didn't realize that I was a negative person.
My mind was full of complaints. And I hated myself like this too.
I lived my life unhappily.
"The mind is mostly negative." ~ Master Bulbi
I didn’t put much effort into my life.
I paid others to clean for me, worked no more than required, and took romantic relationships lightly. There were always more people and other jobs. I lived my life to travel, and even with that I was frugal and sought just the things I considered necessities.
I believed that I was making the most out of life and living abundantly, but in truth, I was living shallowly.
At Ayurveda Yoga Academy my healing work has so often centered on this feeling “not enough”. I want to have, do and be more, but cannot go deeply into anything. I keep daydreaming, especially when I feel bored or don’t want to do something or work hard.
I need to live life totally.
For me this practice comes from frequently refocusing my mind on my mat during asana, and on the sensations of my fingertips as I practice massage. It comes from listening to myself and others wholly, and doing what is needed without thoughts of not wanting to do it.
Think about how you live.
I have been making my life unhappy. Even when there is unhappiness, if I can be without seeking or desiring or dreaming, my mind stops. There is no unhappiness, no happiness, just silence. So this is all just an experience to practice yoga ~ being totally in the moment.
How are you going to live?
Note: Earlier this week our senior Korean yoga teacher posted a blog: '어떻게 살 것인가?' (How are you going to live?) It is something have been deeply contemplating for many weeks and her words touched me deeply. I recommend reading it. If you select the text and right click again, there is an option to translate it, or you can copy it into Google Translate ☺️
At the very end, she shares a passage from our Yoga Master that coincidentally, I had reading just the night before too ♡:
The healthy state that yoga talks about is being oneself, connecting with oneself.
When you feel lonely, it is the state of absence, not that someone else is not there, but that I am not there.
This is a state of disconnection with oneself, or the illusion that it is so.
The connection has never been lost.
If you achieve yoga, loneliness turns into aloneness.
So the way of life that we use is not oppression, but transformation.
It's not about enduring and pressing it down, but about changing.
From loneliness to aloneness.
~ Master Bulbi
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